About, or Five Hundred Words On “Five Hundred Words On…”

Almost a year ago, I began working for the student-run newspaper, called The Columns, at the local college. The editor, a slender man 3 years younger than I, was a very open-minded individual and let me have free rein with my stories.

He did, however, ask that I review a performance of the West Virginia Symphony Orchestra. I was a music student at the time, and the young editor knew I was the perfect choice to write the review.

As the deadline approached, I sat behind my girlfriend’s old computer, plunking into a word processor my jumbled thoughts about the performance. I turned a few good phrases and hoped that the editor would not deem my work “unacceptable.”

The next day, he approached me, not with disdain in his voice, but instead with only praise. His words were as kind to my words as my words were to the orchestra. He told me about how he had laughed until he cried at some of the odd comparisons I had made in the piece, which was rather reassuring. I had set out to make the orchestra seem fun and interesting to those who would typically be uninterested, and I had won over the man that I had too quickly assumed would be my biggest critic.

As the months passed, I started to find that he enjoyed my writing more often than I did, but we are always our hardest critics, so I figured it was normal. As a conversation drew to an end, he asked how I had presented 1000 words on the performance of the West Virginia Symphony Orchestra while keeping the article from straying into a stodgy world of snoots and snobs.

“Well, it was simple. I picked up a 6-pack of Woodchuck and sat at the computer. It only took an hour and a half.” My inspiration was that old adage about writing drunk and editing sober, except, in this case, I kindly let my editor edit sober, leaving in all the hilarious bits and analogies that my prying, sober eye would have deemed unprofessional or downright embarrassing, resulting in the deletion of the best parts.

He seemed astounded that I was able to write such an article, which he still claims is the best thing I have ever written for him. I would take that as a challenge. He would ask if I could give him 500 words on the Larson Inauguration, and I would casually state that “if I can do 1000 on the orchestra, I can do 500 on damn near anything.”

So, here we are, right around 425 words in, and still no real explanation. To be brief, this is an extension of that challenge. TWICE a week, I will give you, the reader, 500 words on damn near anything, but I need you to tell me what you want 500 words on. I don’t care how crazy or strange the subject is. Every Monday, I’ll have another post, giving you just what you want:

Exactly 500 words.

Go.

ghjr

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This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Yes, this is a general “about” page.

Yes, it is a direct copypasta of the first post on this blog.

Yes, I did think about the movie “Inception” when I titled this page.

No, I don’t care. It’s my blog, and I make the rules.

All the rules.

Truly ghjr.