Archive for the 'Nerdery' Category

The Mass Effect Series (No Spoilers)

July 27, 2012

Since the 1980’s, the love and popularity of video games and other virtual modes of entertainment have been on the rise. Game consoles have become some of the finest pieces of consumer technology on the market.

Consoles can now replicate graphics much better than many feature films and are readily available for just a couple hundred dollars.

Throughout the years, many video games have held the title of Most Popular (For The Time Being). Like Halo.

Or Viva Pinata.

So, naturally, we can pinpoint the Most Popular Video Game (For The Time Being) at this very moment, and I’ve got a hunch that it isn’t Skyrim anymore.

And sadly, it’s not Arkham City either.

I’d put my money on Mass Effect.

Mass Effect is arguably the biggest video game of right now, unless you aren’t reading this right now. If so, know it was pretty big right now, ok? Pinkie swear?

Good.

Without delving into too much detail (partially to avoid massive spoilers, partially because I’ve never played the games), the basic story line is as follows:

The player (i.e. YOU) designs their own Commander Shepard and spends three games battling robots called Reapers. Every single choice has consequences that last throughout the entire series, so choose wisely.

That’s it, but from my understanding, it’s fairly wide open. The choices number near infinite (which is an exaggeration of mammoth proportions) and the story line is being hailed by some as “The Greatest Thing That Has Ever Happened Since Ever!” (NOTE: Not a direct quote.)

So, there you have it. Great video game. Great stuff. Done.

Oh, but wait.

That’s not all, is it?

Shoot.

I guess I’d be remiss if I talked about the ENTIRE Mass Effect series without mentioning the few phone spin-off games, the four novels, an upcoming anime series and the at least half dozen comic book series that work their ways into and out of the video game story lines.

Again, I’ve never had contact with these, but from my understanding, they are a hell of a read and fill in some of the gaps that may or may not be missing from the video games.

Is that enough for not even a decade of life and devoted fan bases?

No? Alright. I’ll do you one better then.

In the storm of fanship following the release of Mass Effect 2, Warner Bros. purchased the movie options to the Mass Effect name.

That’s right… Mass Effect movie.

The writers and company haven’t released details yet, but they keep saying it won’t follow the video game story line. It’ll feature a whole new story.

I’d like to think it’ll capitalize on the sexual subplot of the first game that caused such a ruckus. Maybe it’ll be a porno, right?

Ass Effect, perhaps.

Either way, it’ll end exactly how the third game ends:

Rocks fall. Everyone dies.

ghjr

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thanks to Daniel Bollinger for providing me with one that will help my research abilities. It’ll be the first in a line of posts that do just that.

Also, I’d like to apologize for the joke I had to cut to make the length. It was another, much more vulgar fake porno name.

First one to guess it in the comments gets a kiss.

Go.

Truly ghjr

Batman vs. Iron Man

July 20, 2012

It’s fight night again.

All told, the two major comic book companies have more in common that most anyone really wants to admit. So, the fight continues to burn.

And frankly, either company generally has a major character that shares significant characteristics with a character from the other.

Take, for instance, Batman and Iron Man.

One is man of science who has trained and studied to achieve his goals despite his tortured past, and the other is a billionaire who inherited his fortunes from parents he barely knew.

One uses high tech weapons, years of training, and superior intellect to battle the evil-doers that surround him, while the other works closely with a network of kindred spirits in costume to bring down threats that one man alone can’t handle.

One has a fancy butler who looks out for him, and the other has a really cool costume that strikes fear into the hearts of villains.

One is… super rich and the other is…..

alright.

This is harder than I thought.

The fact is, when you compare the two, clearly there are a lot of similarities. How easy is it to pick the one I am speaking about first, Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark. If you ask me, terribly hard because I don’t even know.

Wayne is smart, handsome and rich. He didn’t know his parents well because they died when he was young. He doesn’t care much about what others think about him, but funds all sorts of community projects to help his fellow city dwellers. He fashioned a costume and successfully manufactured his powers in an effort to fight crime and avenge his father’s dead.

Stark, on the other hand, is smart, handsome and rich. He didn’t know his father well because he was too busy working while he was young. He doesn’t care much about what others think about him, but funds all sorts of community projects to help his fellow city dwellers. He fashioned a costume and successfully manufactured his powers in an effort to fight evil and make his father proud.

See? Is that so hard?

Of course, there are big differences. Batman can’t “fly” like Iron Man, he can just fall with style. Tony Stark doesn’t care if people know his identity where as Bruce keeps his hidden.

One looks like a bat and the other looks like a robot.

Now, the time comes when we have to pit the two together in a battle. Naturally. That’s what you all expect.

Frankly, I don’t know who would win. One was one of my favorites as a child, with my love being rekindled by the recent string of big-budget, well-written, and astoundingly realistic (given the subject matter) movies, and the other has…

damn. Did it again.

I can’t find the difference there, either.

As also, though, I will say that one actually is my favorite and the other…

well, that’s another 500 words.

ghjr

—————————————————————————————

This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thank you Lisa. More than you understand.

I know you have been a big fan of the movies as well, and we do talk about them a lot.

I wish I had 5000 words for this one. I could have made it last that long.

But, on this, the eve of “The Dark Knight Rises,” I have many more things to worry about than my writing.

Deshay Basara.

The Fire Rises.

Truly ghjr

Marvel vs. DC

July 13, 2012

This, my dears, is a sacred time of year for nerds the world over.

This week is the time when nerds from all lands make the pilgrimage from their lead figure-lined basements, brave the blazing sun and the inevitable social interaction, and return to the hallowed nerd motherland.

San Diego.

It’s Comic-Con week.

And before you think this is another blog about what’s happening there, forget it.

I’ve never been fortunate enough to make the trek, so don’t expected insider info here. It’s just a great way to frame the post.

What’s that mean? It’s means Comic-Con is a celebration of nerds and their various loves. Movies. Games. Anime porn.

And, as the name implies… comics.

And what’s the one thing you don’t have to be a nerd to know about comics?

Brand wars.

That’s right, kids. DC vs. Marvel.

Now, I’m obliged to keep this short, but I want to touch on something more than my preferences. If I left it those, we wouldn’t even have 500 words.

MARVEL!

Marvel has had some great successes over the years. The recent string of movies is getting more and more people interested in their issues, which is always a good thing.

And Stan Lee has done more for comics than… well, anyone.

This is my problem with Marvel, though.

I think they play it a bit too tame.

Now, I haven’t read every one of their titles, but from what I have read, it’s fairly run-of-the-mill. Not formulaic, but familiar and mostly safe. But, what can you expect from a company owned by Disney?

I’ve been nose deep in AvX recently, but nothing in it has blown me away, aside from lazy-eyed Magneto.

I can’t tell if he’s looking at Emma Frost’s cleavage or Scarlet Witch’s cleavage!

DC!

It’s no secret that I prefer DC, but that doesn’t give them a free ride. I love Batman, even though the story lines and villains haven’t always been the greatest.

But, I do love it, and the new stuff from Scott Snyder has been phenomenal.

I prefer DC because of the darker story lines. Seeing Joker’s peeled-off face nailed to a wall at the end of Detective Comics #1. The Comedians intended rape of the Silk Spectre.

The entirety of Blackest Night.

It’s a lot darker and gritty, something that appeals to me as a reader.

But, I don’t write them a blank check. Why?

Robin. Aquaman. ALL of Identity Crisis AND Final Crisis.

I have my reasons.

Either way, both companies have had their ups and downs, both have had recent successes at the movies, and both will be around until after I die.

Which is a good thing. Comics are one of life’s little pleasures, one that I indulged in a little too late in life.

I have a feeling that my live-long love of Batman helps me decide which company is mine. Oh, well.

Batman could beat Spider-Man any day.

ghjr

——————————————————————–

This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thanks to Lisa Hostuttler for this challenge. I think you’ve been looking a calendars and choosing your subjects wisely.

Tonight is the first night I wished this was 200o Words On…, not 500. I feel like I could talk about the whole DC vs. Marvel thing for an hour.

But, I can’t. I’ve got a word limit for a reason, folks.

Salutations!

Truly ghjr