Archive for the 'Video Games' Category

The Mass Effect Series (No Spoilers)

July 27, 2012

Since the 1980’s, the love and popularity of video games and other virtual modes of entertainment have been on the rise. Game consoles have become some of the finest pieces of consumer technology on the market.

Consoles can now replicate graphics much better than many feature films and are readily available for just a couple hundred dollars.

Throughout the years, many video games have held the title of Most Popular (For The Time Being). Like Halo.

Or Viva Pinata.

So, naturally, we can pinpoint the Most Popular Video Game (For The Time Being) at this very moment, and I’ve got a hunch that it isn’t Skyrim anymore.

And sadly, it’s not Arkham City either.

I’d put my money on Mass Effect.

Mass Effect is arguably the biggest video game of right now, unless you aren’t reading this right now. If so, know it was pretty big right now, ok? Pinkie swear?


Without delving into too much detail (partially to avoid massive spoilers, partially because I’ve never played the games), the basic story line is as follows:

The player (i.e. YOU) designs their own Commander Shepard and spends three games battling robots called Reapers. Every single choice has consequences that last throughout the entire series, so choose wisely.

That’s it, but from my understanding, it’s fairly wide open. The choices number near infinite (which is an exaggeration of mammoth proportions) and the story line is being hailed by some as “The Greatest Thing That Has Ever Happened Since Ever!” (NOTE: Not a direct quote.)

So, there you have it. Great video game. Great stuff. Done.

Oh, but wait.

That’s not all, is it?


I guess I’d be remiss if I talked about the ENTIRE Mass Effect series without mentioning the few phone spin-off games, the four novels, an upcoming anime series and the at least half dozen comic book series that work their ways into and out of the video game story lines.

Again, I’ve never had contact with these, but from my understanding, they are a hell of a read and fill in some of the gaps that may or may not be missing from the video games.

Is that enough for not even a decade of life and devoted fan bases?

No? Alright. I’ll do you one better then.

In the storm of fanship following the release of Mass Effect 2, Warner Bros. purchased the movie options to the Mass Effect name.

That’s right… Mass Effect movie.

The writers and company haven’t released details yet, but they keep saying it won’t follow the video game story line. It’ll feature a whole new story.

I’d like to think it’ll capitalize on the sexual subplot of the first game that caused such a ruckus. Maybe it’ll be a porno, right?

Ass Effect, perhaps.

Either way, it’ll end exactly how the third game ends:

Rocks fall. Everyone dies.



This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thanks to Daniel Bollinger for providing me with one that will help my research abilities. It’ll be the first in a line of posts that do just that.

Also, I’d like to apologize for the joke I had to cut to make the length. It was another, much more vulgar fake porno name.

First one to guess it in the comments gets a kiss.


Truly ghjr

Super Nintendo vs. Sega Genesis

January 9, 2012

I’d like to think that, by now, my readers know me well enough to know what I hear in my head when I read the title of this post.

Whenever I see the phrase “Super Nintendo vs. Sega Genesis,” I can’t help but hear it in the voice of the Mortal Kombat announcer.

Deep. Gravelly. Signifying the beginning of an epic struggle of wills and frame rates.

And that’s exactly what this is.

You see, the Super Nintendo Entertainment System (wherein referred to as SNES) hit American shores in August of 1991, a full two years after the release of the Sega Mega Drive, known to us Americans as the Sega Genesis. Which means that Sega beat Nintendo to the 16-bit punch by a long shot.

Sega actually released the Genesis to “1-up” ::wink wink:: Nintendo’s successful 8-bit monster, the NES (not quite “Super” yet).

Nintendo said, “Hell, we can do 16-bit, too.” NOTE: Not an actual quote.

So, they released the SNES, which had better resolution, more sprites and more colors. However, it had fewer sound channels and less than half the speed.

But, as with basically every console war in history, it wasn’t the console itself that decided a clear winner.

It wasn’t the look of the packaging.

It wasn’t the fact that Sega geared the Genesis toward older audiences with it’s edgier marketing campaigns.

It was the games.

After all, what’s the use of having good graphics, clear sound and being the first console to connect to the Internet for online play if you only offer games like Crazy Taxi and Army Men: Sarge’s Heroes.

Yes, I’m looking at you, Dreamcast.

So, Sega had Sonic, who could run fast and collect gold rings and he had a pretty annoying sidekick named Tails who… had lots of tails.

But, Nintendo’s Mario character was so popular from his NES days that Sonic couldn’t compete as much as Sega had hoped.

After all, Mario could jump high and collect gold rings and he had a pretty annoying brother named Luigi who… was a green version of Mario.

Naturally, when Nintendo uped the the bit rate by 8 and slapped the word “super” before the name of their best-selling system, they struck gold.

Also, being the first to grab the rights to Street Fighter helped a fair amount, but it was mainly Mario.

Now, Sega isn’t all bad. In fact, they were a great foe to Nintendo for quite some time. The rivalry between the two brought video games to the level they are today.

Plus, Sega brought in a few more customers when they sold Mortal Kombat with all the delicious gore and fatalities intact, something Nintendo wouldn’t do, leading me to buy a Genesis just for Mortal Kombat.

Well, and Clay Fighter.

Regardless, Nintendo has more recognizable characters, and won the 16-bit console wars by about 10 million units.

Finish him.

Super Nintendo Wins!



This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thanks to Sean Lee, video game nerd extraordinaire, for the challenge.

I hope I didn’t throw my loyalties into it too much, but everyone already knows which one I pick.

I mean, this whole time, I’ve been listening to the Nintendo Symphony playing various bits of music from The Legend of Zelda series.

It came with Skyward Sword.


Truly ghjr