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Jimmy Carter

June 29, 2012

Long ago, well before I was born, conceived or even really pondered, the nation say one of its greatest presidents come and go. He stood up for the underprivileged and downtrodden, and changed the nation and the world for the better.

Unfortunately, that’s another 500 words.

Jimmy Carter become president about a decade before I was born. He reigned for a meager 4 years before the general public finally put him out of his misery.

And in this 4 years, America saw the grips of a heinous, terrorizing attack upon the president.

I’ll set the scene:

In mid-1979, our prestigious president Carter took a little trip on his hallowed fishing boat. He slogged his way through the swamps in his hometown in good ol’ Georgia. He wanted to have some alone time, so he decided a solo fishing trip would be the best way to achieve that.

But then, he trolled up to the Gates of Hell and snagged his line on the balls of Satan himself!

From the far-off shore approached a beast that few had survived, one that had haunted and taunted the surrounding areas for centuries:

the dreaded swamp rabbit!

The monstrosity paddled angrily towards the thin metal shell keeping our National Treasure from a grimy, briny grave. He bolted through the water slightly faster than a normal rabbit ever could and came upon the boat.

Thankfully, Carter had faced these demons before. He knew what to do!

He threw his pole and line into the bottom of the boat and retrieved the paddle that took him out into the middle of the sludge pool and left him so vulnerable to attack.

Wielding it like a lifelong blacksmith wields his deadly black hammer, Jimmy Carter came down hard with the paddle. He plunged it’s broadest side deeply into the dark depths of the quagmire and brought the deadly tool up into the air. He repeated the deadly motion time and time again, dragging unearthly waves, ungodly typhoons from the darkest, dankest depths of that Georgia swamp.

When all was said and done, the rabbit returned to the shore, vanquished but knowing that its life from then on would better for having tangled with a man of Carter’s wit, will and strength.

He continued his leisure time as if nothing had occurred.

Afterwards, Carter recounted the tale to media outlets nationwide.

In the fashion frequently found in the greatest of men, such as himself, Carter underplayed the entire happening, playing it off like it was nothing.

He claimed that the rabbit simply “jumped in the water and swam toward my boat. When he got almost there, I splashed some water with a paddle.” So understated, so untrue, but so like President Jimmy Carter.

But the true is, it was captured on video. The world will always know of the epic struggle between man and beast that took place that day, and with the help of the Internet, no one can ever take that away!



This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thanks to Sam Jones for this string of politically-minded posts.

Good thing I have found a few ways to spice them up or views might be down.

Truly ghjr