May 7, 2012

The Universe will always hold untold mysteries. How long will the Sun be burning? What’s underneath the surface of Pluto? Why are we here? What truly happened at the Beginning, and how and when will the End come?

In our lifetimes, we will probably never know the answers to these questions. We will never know the true Meaning of Life. We will never truly know our origins or our ends.

And even here on Earth, in our own countries, states, counties, cities, even in our own homes, we deal with ideas and mysteries that we will never solve and we will never fully understand.

Why do we dream? Why do we love?

Why do we have hiccups?

Okay, so… maybe that last one doesn’t fit in. Regardless, we still don’t exactly know why we have hiccups.

Basically, a hiccup is just a diaphragm spasm. Sometime happens to your diaphragm, and it just jerks up and down randomly, causing the recognizably annoying sounds that plague most of us on a daily basis.

But the thing is… we aren’t really sure why it happens.

A lot of times, people get hiccups after eating too much or eating too quickly. Many times, hiccups are associated with drinking or being very drunk.

For me, I have about 4 hiccups a day, two at a time. Everyday. For as long as I can remember.

And they aren’t just tiny ones either. They are the ones that echo across fields or large, empty rooms. The kind that can stop conversations in a busy area.

But, there are only about 4 per day, so I just deal with it. I never have to worry about driving them away.

Which is definitely a good thing, because that’s another little mystery that ties into the whole hiccup ordeal. Everyone has their ideas about how to drive them away. Some think that drinking a glass of water upside-down is the answer. Some say putting a packet’s worth of sugar under the tongue will do it.

Of course, the age-old secret is the old “Give ‘Em A Good Scare” tactic.

It’s true. If you have a friend with hiccups, just wait for them to stop paying attention, sneak up behind them as quietly as possible and start reading Stephen King short stories as loudly and quickly as possible.

That ought to do the trick.

Regardless, hiccups are a tiny inconvenience, an infinitesimally small blip on the Cosmic radar of the Universe, a slight annoyance that plagues Man and holds absolutely no sway in the Big Picture.

But, the fact is, we aren’t in touch with the Galaxy. We don’t need to be concerned about the surface of Pluto of the gravity rate of one of the moons of Jupiter.

Most people don’t care about those things, just the guys that watch Science Channel. But hiccups have always been and will always be, and that is something we can always count on.





This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thanks to Ashton Cutright for this, one in a string of posts that look superficial on the outside, but are surprisingly existential on the inside.

It’s just so much fun to put way more thought into stuff like hiccups than some that deserves the brainspace.

Truly ghjr


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