Women’s Rights

So, I am going to attempt to do this without alienating all of my female readers, but only because all of my regular readers except one are female. At least, of the ones I know.

No, I’m not going to talk about going back to the kitchen, and I’m not going to use the word “sammich” at all.

Except for then.

But, there is a thing going around recently. Women like to say that chivalry is dead.

I was chivalrous once. I used to open doors and pull out chairs for women and all that good stuff. But one day, something day happened.

I opened a door for a lady, just like I always had. Every other time, I had been met with a “thank you,” or worse… Silence.

This time was definitely different, though. This time, the lady tore into me with a torrent of anger.

She said things like “How dare you?” and “You think I can’t open a door for myself?” She referenced the fact that she was independent and “didn’t need a man to do things for her.”

I quietly let go of the door and went on my way.

I haven’t opened a car door for a lady since. That lady ruined it for anyone who will every know me.

Ladies like her are ruining it for everyone everywhere.

Women like to say that chivalry is dead, but the fact is this: Women’s Rights killed it.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that women are not equal. I’m not saying that they shouldn’t be paid the same as men or be able to hold the same public offices as men.

But, I’m saying that you lose all of your chivalrous privileges if these things happen.

Tell you what, you can pick up the bill for dinner tonight. Better yet, let’s go Dutch from now. Why? Well, we make the same amount of money now, so you can afraid to pick up the tab for your own dinner.

Ow. That hurt. I can’t believe you punched me. How’s that? What’s wrong? You are mad because I punched you back? No, I don’t care if you are a girl. You wanted to be equal to men in all ways. If a man punched me in the nose, I’d punch him right back.

See what I am saying? You ladies like the idea of being “equal” to men, but once it comes down to it, you don’t want to be treated like men at all. You want to gain all the good stuff about being a guy while keeping all the good stuff about being a girl.

I don’t blame you. If I could get someone to take me shopping while still living with a period, I’d jump at the chance.

Of course, I’d be at the comic book store, but that’s not important.

ghjr

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This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thanks to Ashton Cutright (A WOMAN!) for the challenge.

I did my best to get my point across. A lot of people don’t take this “equality” thing into consideration, especially women. They already unofficially run the world. You women don’t need to make a big point of it by literally trying to run the world too, ok?

Either way, I think I did well without being too sexist. Am I right, bitches?

Truly ghjr