Adolf Hitler

March 9, 2012

First and foremost, I would like to say that Adolf Hitler was a huge dick.

I would love to leave it at that, but it’s not that simple, now is it?

Hitler was easily one of the biggest dicks in history. Only a few other dictators rivalry his supreme historic dickery.

He had millions of people imprisoned or killed just because they looked a certain way or spoke a certain language or came from a certain country.

His legendary Aryan race was filled with Nordic blonde goddesses and blue-eyed, muscular gods. Strangely, he was not blonde, had brown eyes and was actually a bit on the flabby side.

How did all of history look over that one?

Regardless, Hitler and his goose-stepping Nazi bastards have had their image translated in America and elsewhere. While they used to be feared, ruthless individuals that would stop at nothing to kill and maim, they have now become the perpetual punchline for the world.

It’s interesting that you can go into any room in any building in any country and make fun of a Nazi without repercussions. Try it. No one stands up for Nazis, and no one stands up for Hitler. Why?

Refer to the first paragraph if you need a reminder of Hitler’s dickishness.

Actually, no. Refer to a history book. Any of them.

I’ll wait right here for you.


Ahh, how quickly I have digressed.

No one takes up for Hitler because no one wants to be associated with him. I’ve known a few WWII memorabilia collectors, hardcore Nazi collectors, and they don’t even like to be associated with that asshole.

Why? Because they instantly become the butt of the same worldwide joke.

Now, is it because Stan Lee and his Golden Age helpers chuckled it up by having Captain America kick the piss out of some SS members at every turn? Maybe.

I doubt it would work now, but I figure comic books were a big part in the ::AHEM:: “good” propaganda that happened during the war.

“Do you hate Nazis? YOU SHOULD! Do you want to kick the shit out of them on a daily basis? JOIN THE ARMY!”

That’s not a direct quote, mind you. However, I would love to hear Stan Lee yelling that at a brainstorming session. Of course, if that was the case, the dialogue would begin with “SALUTATIONS!” and every other word would be “EXCELSIOR!”

So, they tricked a few guys into joining the war effort. Big deal.

I’ve always said that if I was alive around that time, I would have joined the military. I’m just a few steps away from pacifism, but I would have no reservations about killing Nazis all day long.

“We kill people because of how they look,” is a terrible thing. “We kill people because of what they believe,” isn’t much better.

But there is a sweet, sweet ring to “we kill people because they are Nazis.”





This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thank you, Ashton Cutright. Genuinely.

I’ve never done that.

I’ve never actually said thank you and meant it.

However, it was hard to keep my Nazi hatred to 500 words. I feel like I just got started and I hit the cap.

So it goes. Let’s go kill some Nazis.


Truly ghjr


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