Oil Spills

February 24, 2012

For years, people have been using boats to take goods from one place to another.

Spaniards used galleons to move spices. Chinese used junks to move fireworks.

Americans used any boats they could get their hands on to move blacks.

It’s all the same, right?

Regardless, as technology grew, the need for petroleum based oils grew with it.

Not every country has oil under its borders, though. So, someone had to figure out a way to transport it. Tanker trucks worked, but only if there is land between Point A (the land with the oil) and Point B (the land that desperately needs the oil).

So, someone (and for my purposes, I really don’t care who) decided to shove it into a boat and take it across the ocean.

And somehow… everyone thought this was a good idea.

Now, the problem with boats is that they like to spring leaks and sink.

Not all the time, mind you. In fact, for how many boats are out on the seas everyday, the percentage of shipwrecks these days is pretty low.

However, with gallons upon gallons of oil potentially on board any boat, the hellish aftermath of a wreck or spill would prove to have lasting effect.

And that’s exactly what happened.

I only remember two oil spills that happen throughout the course of my life, the first being the wreck of the Exxon Valdez.

Yes, the Exxon Valdez wrecked when I was maybe 6 months old, but when I was young, I watched tons of repeats of Saturday Night Live. They talked about the Exxon Valdez all the time on Weekend Update.

Of course, they liked to make jokes about it being the worst oil spill since (insert famous black person who used too used Afro Sheen here) went to the beach for the afternoon.

Otherwise, the one that everyone remembers is the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, also known as the Gulf oil spill. You remember it, right?

The wellhead blew out and pissed 200 million gallons of crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico. Does that ring a bell?


It killed all the wildlife in the area.

It crippled the fishing industry and all tourism in the area for years.

It made Kanye West say “George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” embarrassing Mike Myers on national TV.

Wait… that was Hurricane Katrina.

Oh, well. It was still a disaster.

The spill pumped so many gallons of BP oil into the Gulf that NASA actually took pictures of the spill from space.

It was that big.

And truly, it decimated basically everything for miles and miles.

It continued to do so for months upon months, becoming the biggest oil spill ever. It was so big that it is still being cleaned up and the wilderness is still attempting to overcome it.

Frankly, only one good thing came out of the spill:

BP gas prices plummeted.

It was a great time to be a BP customer.





This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thanks to Ashton Cutright for this one.

Sometimes, I wonder where you people come up with your challenges. Seriously.

Take a look at The List and scope out some of the upcoming posts.

See what I mean?


Truly ghjr


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