Grover Cleveland

January 30, 2012

Let me start this thing by saying that Grover Cleveland is not the full name of the Sesame Street character Grover.

Grover Cleveland is not The Monster at the End of this Book, if you will.

Grover Cleveland was our President.

And no, he wasn’t the one that got stuck in the bath tub. That was William Howard Taft.

Grover Cleveland had a great big mustache and fancy bow ties. He was also the only person to serve as the President of the United States of America for two nonconsecutive terms.

That’s right. While all the other get to claim one spot, like 6th, 29th, or 157th, Grover gets two.

22nd AND 24th.

Now… some of you who aren’t so historically inclined might be asking how that could happen.

Well, first off, it’s completely plausible. I mean, in most circumstances, you can be president twice. And… for most of the people that have done with, they just put the two terms together to cover the better part of a decade and then drop since they did their time.

But Cleveland didn’t.

He ran, mind you. He wanted a second term as the POTUS.

But, like many other great things in our country, Republicans screwed it up.

Cleveland was a democrat, and he was running against the GOP’s offering of Benjamin Harrison.

Harrison was a cock-sure greying ex-Whig from Indiana.

Now, Grover was ahead in the popular, but something happened in one state that screwed up everything and swung the election in the way of Harrison.

No. Not “hanging chads.”

Actually, the Republicans paid so-called “Blocks of Five” for their votes, something that is intensely illegal if you weren’t already aware. I had a feeling you were, though.

So, Harrison’s boy pay tons of cash to people to win their votes, and even though he didn’t win the popular vote, he paid enough in his home state of Indiana win that state.

That won him enough electoral votes.

That won him the Presidency.

But, somewhere in Harrison’s presidency, his wife took ill. After four years in office, in which the GOP appointed Harrison their candidate, Harrison decided not to campaign on his own. He had aids and cabinet members do his electioneering so he could spend time with his ailing wife.

Now, a lesser man would have taken the low road and gone on the campaign trail against Harrison, making claims that his wife was dying due to syphilis that was contracted during a slave rape decades ago and passed to the loving wife on a rare anniversary evening tryst.

But what did Cleveland do?

He stayed home. He didn’t want to use Harrison’s dying wife against the suffering, despondent man, so he stayed home and let others campaign for him.

America knew what they were missing, and they knew they had been cheated 4 years before.

Grover Cleveland was president once more.

Plus, his name was Grover. Awesome.





This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thanks to Sam Jones for her educational contribution this week.

I don’t really know who knows what about him, but I always thought it was interesting that he had split terms and that it was actually due to cheating Republicans.

I guess the tradition of cheating is alive and well today. Isn’t that right, Newt?


Truly ghjr



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