Wesley Willis

October 17, 2011

The music of Wesley Willis whips a camel’s ass. Plain and simple.

For those of you who do not know of Wesley Willis, he was a musician and artist who released 50 solo albums along with many others with bands like The Wesley Willis Fiasco. Considered the Daddy of Rock ‘N’ Roll, Willis often claimed to have written somewhere between 3000 and 5000 songs, depending on the day.

Wesley Willis was also a paranoid schizophrenic. Sometimes, it shows in the music.

His songs are usually nonsensical in some way and often refer to bestiality and crime. SIDENOTE: I didn’t know this until recently, but Willis claimed that many of his songs were instructions to the demons that began talking to him in 1989. He said that songs like “Drink a Camel’s Cum” were made to gross out the demons. True story.

Either way, Wesley and I have a long history together.

I’m not sure who turned me on the Wesley Willis. I assume it was the same person that suggested him for a post. She has been a big fan for quite some time.

Either way, I can recall Saturday nights in the black sedan of a certain ex-girlfriend. We would listen to Wesley on the long drive from her house in Dunkard Mill to the Warner Theatre in Morgantown when we made the trek for the month showings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Sam Jones was usually there with us.

I’m pretty sure that’s how basically every Rocky Horror night went while we were dating. Now, we dated for six months or so, and I’ve seen Rocky Horror 31 times. You do the math.

And no, neither of them were with me when I lost my virginity.

I mean Rocky Horror virginity, you freaks. And the regular kind, now that I think of it.

Either way, we’d spend the 45 minutes or more belting out the lyrics to such classics as “Cut the Mullet”, “The Chicken Cow”, “Rock ‘N’ Roll McDonald’s”, and my personal favorite, “Suck a Cheetah’s Dick”.

We’re not normal people. Neither was Wesley. After all, his brother was killed by Al Capone and The Chicken Cow. True story.

Now, Wesley’s music isn’t the most well-written in the Universe. In fact, most of the songs that I named (and a large majority of his solo songs that I have heard) feature Wesley singing and playing the newest Technics KN keyboard on the market. Apparently, he would trade his old one in for a new the day they would release onto the market. He did that most of his solo career. True story.

Most of the songs featured extended sections of accompaniment in directly in the middle. That’s when the black sedan would fall silent, waiting for Wesley to come back with more disgusting lyrics.

Either way, Wesley reminds me of simpler times (no job, no bills, secretly lesbian girlfriend), and for that, I will always thanks him.

Rock over, London. Rock on, Chicago. “Five Hundred Words On…”: One Man, Five Hundred Words.



This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thanks to Sam Jones for another challenge.

You were with me most the times that I listened to Wesley, so you already know what I think about Wesley. Also, it’s getting pretty cold out. Watch out for The Chicken Cow.

Also, watch out for some news this week. I’m expecting a guest post sometime soon.

Truly ghjr.


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