Ted Nugent

October 10, 2011

When writing about a man like Ted Nugent, figuring out where to begin is a bit of a chore. I could focus on his early hits, like “Stranglehold” or “Cat Scratch Fever.” I could talk about the 90’s super group Damn Yankees.

I could talk about the fact that Uncle Ted is bat shit insane and passes his time by killing anything that moves with a bow.

I still haven’t decided.

Either way, The Motor City Madman has been a highly- respected guitarist and somewhat of an institution and in the realm of rock music for the last 40 years or so.

Somewhere along the way, he snapped.

Not “killed his family and raped a horse” snapped, but something’s just not right in his head. Of course, maybe it’s just because he’s a republican.

Wait. Don’t go, republicans. I didn’t mean anything by it! I NEED THE READERSHIP!

Ted Nugent has been on various “reality shows” in the past decade. Ted started his ridiculous trend of appearing in these shows with an outdoor series called “Spirit of the Wild.” The series started out innocently enough, with The Nuge giving tips to hunters and conservationists.

Soon, the power went to his head, and Nugent used the show to spout his own brand of dogma, telling viewers to keep their children away from TV and have them learn to survive in the woods.

Imagine that. Using TV to speak out against TV. Crazy.

Ted next hit the gold nugget that the world needed. The show was called “Surviving Nugent”. Essentially, Nugent made people who are almost celebrities, like Tila Tequila, skin animals and build outhouses.

When The Nuge stepped back and saw what he had done, he realized that it simply was not enough. So…. “Surviving Nugent: The Ted Commandments” happened soon after.

It was the same thing as the first season, except Ted Nugent cut through part of his leg with a chainsaw during filming. He had 44 stitches, if that helps to illustrate the length of the wound that occurred when a chainsaw met Ted Nugent.

After a few years of much tamer “reality” shows, like VH1’s SuperGroup, Ted went back to his roots. Well, not his roots of producing gut-bucket rock music that teens want to play through the cassette decks of their cars while hosting a drunken backseat screw-fest in their parent’s 15-year-old sedans.

He went back to his reality show roots.

The Nuge hosted Runnin’ Wild… From Ted Nugent, a show in which Ted Nugent, who clearly hadn’t learned his lesson about proper chainsaw safety, chased various contestants around the woods with power tools.

Wait. No. The contestants attempted feats such as… skinning animals and building outhouses.

Hmmm…

I’m sensing a lack of televisual creativity here. I’m not so sure that Uncle Ted should be given anymore TV shows. Give the poor man a guitar instead. He can’t do anything bad with one, right?

What? He played a Tea Party rally in Texas? Glenn Beck was there?

Crap.

 

 

ghjr

 

————————————————————————————————–

 

This is not included in the 500 word limit.

Thanks go to Sam Jones for the challenge. Ted Nugent is just one of those guys that you cannot say enough about.

Like… Gary Busey.

Keep the challenges coming, guys. Remember…

you make the blogosphere go round.

 

Truly ghjr.

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